Gambrill Mountain Views

I was able to spend some time today on top of Gambrill--this has been a safe space for me over the past two years. A place I go to hike, meditate, and commune not only with nature, but our creator. It is an out door chapel where I feel peace and comfort in times that are hard and a haven to celebrate in. It was fitting that I spent time on Gambrill today. A little over a year ago I began a process of new growth and new beginnings. A time of healing and processing, a time of rebirth and rebuilding. In February of 2023 I came out to my wife as bisexual--and boy was that a hard mountain to climb. However, my life partner, friend, and mother of my children made it feel so easy. Like the mountain, she was welcoming, comforting, and balm to the soul 

Fast forward a year and a half and my wonderful wife woke me up with a kiss and a "Happy Pride Month" greeting. It takes a strong women to embrace the change and acceptance of these things in her husband. While up on the mountain I was struck by two things: the Civilian Conservation Corp monument and Mountain Laurel. Symbols of perseverance, grit, and determination--much like the mountain, they stand the test of time and are a reminder of the strength that we all have when supported, nurtured, and loved. 

The Civilian Conservation Corp (CCC) was born out the FDR's New Deal. It was a way to give jobs to those in need and spread his philosophy of park systems in the United States. These men traveled the country building roads, railways, and state and national parks among other things. But most importantly, they built self reliance, grit, and a renewed sense of self. The Great Depression made so many vulnerable and reliant--it was a tumultuous time for our country. 

I remember the stories my grandmother would share growing up in the coal town of Shamokin, PA--they ate broth for most of their meals. Her brothers worked odd jobs, and her mother took in laundry and sewing to put food on the table. They were Polish immigrants, building a life for their children and teaching them the value of saving, repairing, mending, and making do. Lessons many of us could use in our lives today. In my kitchen hangs the washboard that my great-grandmother once used. There are very few pictures of her and her siblings growing up. Grandma Susan took care of six children, one of whom had developmental delays, cared for her husband who worked in the coal mines, and managed to make a life for herself and her children. There were lean times and fruitful times, but my grandmother instilled in me those traits and many others that have gotten me where I am today

The other thing that I focused on was the Mountain Laurel (Kalmia latifolia). This beautiful evergreensurrounds Gambrill and fills the trails with it's sweet scent, delicate blossoms, and hardy leaves. Laurel is a symbol of victory dating back to the ancient Greeks. Wreaths of laurel were worn by athletes and scholars a like. The Mountain Laurel is native to Maryland and much of the east coast and is the state flower of Connecticut. It is a symbol of perseverance and strength. It can survive the varied conditions of high mountains of Maine and New Hampshire to the warm long growing seasons of the Carolinas. It blooms in late May and early June--the perfect time for perseverance as we celebrate Pride month an all that the LGBTQ community has overcome. 

Interestingly enough, my grandmother, Lillian, her polish name was Laurentine which means Laurel and strength in Polish. She was a strong woman who over came the loss of her father at 19, her son when he was 11, her husband when she was just 68--she was a model of strength and perseverance. 

All of the spoke to me today as I embraced the PRIDE I have for myself and my community. It is not easy coming out at 39 while married and raising a family. It is not easy, but it can be done. Like the Gambrill State Park, this new journey of mine was born out of a great depression--like the CCC men, I have been given something to help me become self-reliant and rebuild--like the Mountain Laurel (and my grandmother) I am strong, perseverant, and victorious. I am also humble and grateful for the community that lifts me up everyday. My loving wife, my amazing children, and my family. Spending time on the mountain today with my son Benjamin and seeing how far he has come with his own mental health struggles--watching him swing on the swing set and look over the overlooks warmed my heart and reminded me how healing a mountain can be--Balm for the soul and warmth for the heart--