Off the beaten path...

 Sometimes we must take the trail that we did not plan on doing and other times we choose to. One year ago, today this picture was taken.

I was deciding whether I was ready for a harder trail to hike. I have been to this spot many times (literally and metaphorically) in the past year.  Amid fear and doubt I was reminded on this hike of the last meeting I had with my dear friend who passed away. She was so excited that I was taking on this new role. She knew it was the perfect fit for me and that I had to give it a try. I kept those final words at the forefront as I traversed mountains and obstacles to learn a new role in a school that I called home. Overall, I think it was a success. It's interesting how paths in your life cross and how paths in your life can change. It was this time last school year that I was grappling with a new trail--that of Math Specialist...

At the end of the school year in 2022, I lost a dear friend, but before she left us, I was lucky to meet with her one last time. It’s funny that it was on a Tuesday. It makes me think of that book Tuesdays with Morrie--In the years that I knew her, she had become a rock for me. Someone to encourage me, someone to guide me, someone to ground me. That last meeting with her, she was so excited to hear that I was leaving the classroom and taking on the role of a math specialist. I was glad she was excited because I was scared. I didn’t know what I was going do in this new role, not having a classroom of my own.  I did not want it--the classroom was my safe space. I knew how it ran; I knew how to plan for it--comfort was key. I was pushed out of that comfort zone searching for something new. But she had faith in me and that was enough to push me through all summer long. I wanted to change my job--I wanted to go back to the classroom. I talked to my principal many times and she kept saying nope it’s too late!

It was a rocky few weeks, but I just kept remembering how excited she was for me and how she kept saying that this is what I needed to do and how much I would grow from it. Looking back on that school year, it was a huge growing year for me with a new path. It was a different journey and a slightly different direction. I got to do things that I never did in the classroom I got to spend more time with data, I got to meet so many more students, create bonds, build relationships, help students in crisis, help students with their math and even help teachers to be the best teachers that they could be! It was one of the most rewarding years of my teaching career.

That new journey also led to another new path in the spring semester. I was able to teach at our alternative high school in the evenings, a biology course, and an environmental science course. My classes were small, only a handful of students. I was able to start experiencing life as a high school teacher. I was also dealing with students who had more trauma than they knew what to do with. It opened my eyes to what our students, no matter what school they’re in or what family they come from, all bring that trauma with them into the classroom. We push and want our students to do their very best. I’ve always been one to work on building relationships with my students. Several years ago, I watched a Ted talk by Rita Pearson. Her inspiring words of relationship being the key to education really changed my thought process. It’s the little things that make students feel like they are truly a part of their community. Sometimes, just like teachers and adults in the world, children need something that they feel they have control over. By building a relationship with them, and by building a classroom of community, you give them that piece of control. That thing that they could oversee, and hopefully one day be proud of. I didn’t realize how important that was until I started teaching at our alternative high school.

The students needed more than an education--they didn’t need someone to come in "save them"--they needed someone to come in and care about them, listen to them, and meet them where they are. When I put away the notes, the lecture slides, and the textbook, and took time to really get to know them--to plan activities around who they were and build on their interests, I found that my students were showing up on Tuesdays and Thursdays for science class. It was again one of the most rewarding experiences of my life to see those students grow and change and to see them want to work for a good grade. To see them want to make up assignments and redo things to show that they truly understood really meant a lot. It was more than just the reward of educating a child. It was about giving them control, it was about giving them a relationship that they could count on, and it was about building a sense of self-esteem.

That experience was what really pushed me onto this new trail. Leaving my elementary world and leaving the school that I had been in for 15 years, and starting a new career in high school has been difficult. It’s a new challenge and a new world. I get to teach the subjects that I love, and I get to work with kids in a different way. Being able to teach them and do labs with them and to really focus on my subject of choice has been amazing. This journey has been a parallel with another journey, a journey of self-discovery, a journey of finding out who I really am and accepting who I am in the process.